khaleesmas1:

date a boy who reads. or better yet date a 37 year old recent divorcee with a highly diversified stock portfolio who’s looking to feel young again and can treat you to what you deserve

(via prestigiou5)


burgrs:

if you cant handle me at my worst then leave because i dont have a best im always awful

(via thisisnotmyfairytaleendingg)


outfit game: on point
mental health game: ?????


tsarbucks:

tehlofflies:

tsarbucks:

you know when i die i’ll probably just be in the afterlife blogging like 

"heaven has no free wi-fi? fuck this shit i’m going to hell"

how do you know hell has wifi

satan owes me several favors

(via thefuuuucomics)


Why bother with the bedroom when there is a perfectly good table right here.

neon-vagina:

bigeisamazing:

ronaldreagay:

laughing cow cheese huh?
image
I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH

you don’t kill a cow

to make cheese

image

this is literally my favorite

(via thefuuuucomics)


automatically:

Roxy like a puma

image

(via thefuuuucomics)


jetbag:

one time i actually thought i had a chance with someone 

(via diamondgrrrl)